Any parent can tell you that using reverse psychology works for almost any situation requiring a little extra boost in motivation for their child. It could be as simple as telling him that you want his vegetables at dinner or that you want to wear his shirt when he won't get dressed, to as complex as packing his suitcase when he says he wants to run away. When used appropriately and cautiously, this form of reasoning works almost every time.
What is reverse psychology? Simply stated, it is a form of mild manipulation that encourages someone to do the opposite of what he thinks you want him to do. It is not only effective with children, it can be used in dating and relationships, business, and sales. The reason this approach is so effective is that it taps into the natural defiance mechanism of humans. If you tell a child to eat his string beans, for instance, he will most likely flat out refuse. If you tell him not to eat his string beans because you want them more, he will probably eat every last one on his plate.
In business, using reverse psychology can be effective as well. Instead of asking an employee to perform a task he doesn't want to do, try telling him that you know the task might be hard for him because he is too busy and that you are thinking of giving it to someone else. In this case, the employee will probably decide to accomplish the task because you have indirectly told him you don't think he can, and most adults do not want someone else to get credit for accomplishing work that was first offered to them.
Even in dating situations, reverse psychology can bring about changes in the relationship. If the object of your affections is playing hard to get, making him or her believe you didn't want them to start with will likely drive the person right back to you by feeding into his or her dislike of rejection. Agreeing to remain just friends is another way to make him or her rethink her actions.
There are some important things to remember if you plan on using reverse psychology. The first is that you never want to go overboard and make someone feel less valuable as a human. Telling your child that the shirt you want him to wear wouldn't look good on him anyway is one example of being too harsh using this method. Telling him instead that you want to wear the shirt yourself will bring about better results without damaging his self esteem. Telling your employee that he is just not capable of performing the task would be another step too far when using reverse psychology.
The second thing to keep in mind is that you cannot change methods in mid-negotiation. You must quickly size up your approach and choose reverse psychology from the start to get the results you want. You cannot beg your potential boyfriend or girlfriend to remain with you and then suddenly start using reverse psychology; this will not be effective in achieving your goals. Likewise, once you start using this approach, it is hard to effectively stop and switch to a different method to get results.
While not always successful you will usually find that when you are faced with difficult situations and personalities, you are more likely to achieve desired results by using reverse psychology to achieve your goals as long as it is done gently and appropriately.
